I Hate People: Why This Happens A lot and How to Fix It
All human beings go through the feeling of hating people at some point in their lives. If you are going through this situation, you should look at your physical and mental health to see if these strong negative feelings are happening due to personal matters. You may feel bad about yourself, and are outwardly projecting the feeling of hatred to others. When you get back to feeling better about yourself, these negative feelings will disappear. Recognizing that you have this problem is the first step to solving it. The negative feeling of “I hate people” can be overcome with a critical sense and understanding that extreme emotions can sometimes be harmful. In this article, we’ll share how.
Stopping the feeling of hate
It can be stated that the feeling of hatred is overcome by working on yourself and improving your mental health. If you hate people, you must recognize that negative emotion and then be highly sympathetic to yourself. Take a moment to analyze your internal problems. You might realize the reasons that lead you to feel hate. Understand that your hatred is only a reflection of what is happening to you, and others have nothing to do with it. Sometimes, chronic stress, social anxiety, or worsening mental illness can make us socially awkward making interpersonal relationships with others hard. In some cases, it’s not really people we hate, it’s our inability to connect with them meaningfully.
Identify the hate
The feeling of “I hate people” is easy to identify; the key is that you’re open to recognizing it. If you hate people, you probably experience some or all of these feelings.
1. Feeling of repulsion
If you are overcome with hatred, you will likely reject someone as soon as you meet them. Perhaps that person reminds you of someone unpleasant or a negative situation from the past. Remember that the person you have just met has nothing to do with what happened to you. Don’t transfer your past traumas onto people you meet. These negative emotions will make connecting with others so much harder. And it can really put a drain on your emotional energy. When meeting someone new, give them the benefit of the doubt.
2. Hatred of a situation
You see an unpleasant situation where injustice, fights, shouting, discord, etc., is manifested. You begin to feel hatred for all those involved, even if you do not know how to justify the reasons. In most environments, there’s an us-vs-them mindset. This can make connecting with others so hard. Ideological differences aren’t the only thing in life. Just because you’re different in one aspect doesn’t mean you’re different in all aspects. You might actually have more in common with someone than you think. But if you only zero in on that one aspect, you’ll never see it.
3. Enviousness of others
Sometimes hatred is born through the feeling of envy. You see someone who enjoys success, beauty, and good health, which awakens resentment. You hate him because that individual “had good luck,” and you don’t. Remember that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side, it’s greener where you water it. Invest in yourself to stop comparing yourself to others, and you’ll start to lose these negative emotions like envy. You’re brilliant in so many ways. You don’t need to match your talents one-to-one for every person you meet.
4. Vulnerable self
Generally, you feel hatred towards someone who generated feelings of vulnerability in you. If you have suffered some abuse, it’s logical to feel contempt for that individual. In that case, you should channel your hatred into something positive. Denounce what has happened to you so that it doesn’t happen to others. You might channel your hatred into something that helps people overcome the same thing. You could do good deeds or acts of kindness to help diffuse your hatred, while not becoming anything like the person who caused you harm.
5. Value system
Love and hate are two moral values present in the life of any individual. It’s because that feeling is part of your value system if you feel hate. Therefore, it is natural for you to hate something you don’t like. Remember that recognizing hatred is good and that you need to start channeling it into positive actions that benefit you. In short, you have to direct your hatred, not keep it inside of yourself. You can release it through your physical health, by doing online therapy for your mental health, or by channelling intense feelings into your art, such as painting or writing.
Understanding your hatred
The feeling “I hate people” reflects inner conflicts that you hold deep in your mind and heart. So you have to be empathetic with yourself to understand your hatred and overcome it.
1. Recognize the origin
When you hate someone, start thinking about what could be the origin of such a feeling. This will lead you to analyze your values and discover the reasons for your hatred. Study the concepts you learned as a child, and you will find the cause of your hatred towards a specific person there. You will rationalize your hate and stop feeling it.
2. Analyze your personal history
The origin of “I hate people” towards another individual may be for cultural and social reasons. Maybe the hate you feel belongs to you, but it has to do with your history and the culture you grew up with. If you feel like you hate something, think about what your parents think about that same thing too. It’s possible, your hateful feelings aren’t even yours, they’re really your parents.
You feel that you can’t do anything about a circumstance, so you hate the one you believe is to blame for that situation. Channel your hatred into action to turn circumstances in your favor. Sometimes all you need is some emotional support and to experience a few positive emotions to feel confident enough to tackle someone else’s hatefulness towards you that causes you to despise the behavior of others.
You react by hating the people involved in a situation that generates confusion. If you cannot control a situation, it’s useless to hate the people involved. Instead, work to see each context clearly, focusing on solutions.
5. Remember your family life
Perhaps you feel hatred because you grew up in a family where the expression of hostility toward others was commonplace. You dislike someone, and your first reaction is to hate them because that is what you saw in your childhood and adolescence. So work on not repeating that pattern and change to a constructive attitude. Don’t pass on your traumas and bad lessons to the next generation and focus on creating healthy relationships instead. Feeling hatred can negatively affect every social interaction and take over negative thoughts for generations. End the cycle.
Manage your feelings
You have recognized that you hate people and understand the reasons for your feeling. Now you must manage this negative feeling so that it does not destroy you or harm others. For the sake of your mental and physical health, you must manage your feelings.
1. Analyze the situations that generate your hatred
Perhaps you have a record of bad experiences with certain types of people, and that is why you hate specific individuals. You add resentment to your memories, which is projected outwardly as hatred towards others. Avoid falling into this situation, and don’t generalize people.
2. Talk to the people you hate
You can perceive that person better if you talk to someone you hate. The rapprochement favors understanding and drives away hatred. It may seem difficult to face but remember you will benefit from it. Online therapy can help you find ways to connect with someone you don’t get along with, especially if you have social anxiety. So talk to a qualified mental health professional about ways to navigate the relationship with this difficult person.
3. See the positive aspect
Your mind focuses on the negative aspects of people and situations, which would lead to hatred. So make an effort and look at the positive side of others to have a more global view of those around you.
4. Avoid value judgments
You probably hate a person without knowing them. If you don’t have enough information about something or someone, don’t make value judgments because you will probably be wrong.
5. Prioritize understanding and not intentionality
Perhaps you focus on the intentionality of other people’s actions when you should focus on understanding the situation. This will give you a broad view of a given situation.
Overcoming the feeling of Hate
Once you have recognized the feeling “I hate people,” understood it, and learned how to deal with it, you are in a position to overcome it. Follow the following tips to feel good about yourself and transform your reality for the better.
1. Focus on your own life
Although it sounds obvious, if you focus on your well-being, there will be no room for hate. That negative feeling carries too much energy, so it is better to focus on yourself and work on what makes you well.
2. Amplify your social life
Try to meet new people to enrich your inner self and share diverse life experiences. This will prevent you from being prejudiced and teach you not to generalize others. Being around good people is good for your mental health. In your online therapy sessions, ask your therapist for ways to connect with people and boost your social life to change your perception of people.
3. Forget offenses
When someone offends you, you should not put yourself on their level. You must defend your position, but you don’t have to hate the other person. Don’t react with anger; take a deep breath and wait to respond to the other person’s reactions. Prioritize your rationality and not your anger.
4. Do pleasant activities
The more you engage in pleasurable activities, the less time you will spend hating others. Instead, focus on your favorite hobbies, study something you like, play sports, and read novels of your favorite genre. Keep your mind busy, and there will be no room for hate.
5. Psychological therapy
The feeling of hate is highly destructive, so it’s worth asking for professional help to be well guided towards your inner recovery. Be honest with your therapist about your mental health and open your mind to genuine recovery. The feeling of “I hate people” is overcome through a solid commitment to yourself to illuminate your dark areas.
Hatred of others outwardly reflects an inner chaos that must be faced to be overcome. If you hate people, unresolved internal issues probably manifest as an aversion towards others. Once you start working on your complexes, you understand yourself better, making you feel good. The most incredible thing is that your hatred towards others has nothing to do with others but with the attitude you take towards any given circumstance.
The feeling of “I hate people” is overcome by looking out for your well-being because if you feel good about yourself, you will not be interested in hating anyone. Work on expanding your circle of friends, which will give you a broad view of people and avoid falling into harmful generalizations. Concentrate on your ideas because maybe you are reflecting on concepts that you learned in the past but are not yours. The key to everything is self-knowledge and then overcoming your negative aspects. Remember to be understanding with yourself while overcoming the feeling of hatred. Remember to show empathy to yourself and others.